I'm So Proud of My Kids, My Daughters Now Cave for Fun
Not Actually Kids
Let me start by saying they are not kids. They are women in their mid-40s. Hardly kids. And they definitely inherited their father’s genes, having gone through a similar life-changing evolution, sometimes called a “mid-life crisis.” It’s not a crisis, by the way. It’s an opportunity to change direction and reassess how one wants to spend the rest of their life. In my opinion, everyone should have one.
Claire and Emma
Horses Over Hills
Growing up, my daughters showed very little inclination for the mountains or any sort of outdoor adventure. No matter what I tried in their teenage years, horses usually took precedence. But to give them credit, they did try. They grudgingly came along on my efforts to show them the beauty and majesty of the great outdoors. I had them rock scrambling, camping, and hiking. They politely said they had enjoyed themselves but didn’t come back for more without a fair amount of prompting. Fair enough, I accepted that we are all different and they had decided to go their own way. I would, of course, support them with whatever direction they eventually chose. Turns out that direction wasn’t uphill, which was disappointing for a man whose idea of cardio involved finding the steepest hill he could.
Claire in Patagonia, first signs of change
Then, out of the blue in 2015 my daughter Claire announced that she would like to come on an expedition to Patagonia with me. This was a surprise to say the least as she hadn’t shown much inclination to have joined me in the mountains in the past, apart from the odd ski trip which I don’t think she particularly took to. I think she was feeling in a bit of a rut and wanted something exciting and special to come into her life.
I was delighted, of course, but a little wary as I knew how severe, tough and difficult an expedition to Patagonia would be. You need to be very resilient in the face of adversity. There are no easy days there, always awkward terrain to negotiate and then of course, you have the inclement weather and high winds to contend with. Living in a tent for up to 12 nights. She also had an iron deficiency. How would she cope?
Needless to say she showed the necessary resilience and coped with the hardships well. I have an overriding, endearing image of Claire that I took with my camera. I look at it whenever I recall that expedition. She has just crossed Tyrolean Traverse, it had been a long, hard descent from Paso del Viento. She is tired and at the end of her tether. She is exhausted and just wants to stop. She looks up at the camera with ashen face that screams “I have had enough!”. But, she keeps going, to the next camp and finally back to civilisation. She is happy. She has accomplished far and beyond what her father expected of her. We sit and enjoy some cool beers together. Later we both tuck into huge Argentine steaks washed down with smooth Malbec.
Claire in Patagonia
The Heart Attack Shift
Move on 20+ years and I had gone through my own mid-life crisis, leaving accountancy behind for a new life in Spain. Emma had already spent a number of years living in the same town and spoke fluent street Spanish, albeit with a Yorkshire accent. Things started to change after my heart attack in 2019, as I naturally took a back seat in the guiding business. Emma stepped forward and started running the administration side of things. That way, the business continued without me. She did a good job, got to know the clients, and got to know the guides.
The Most Unlikely Mountain Leader
A few years later, out of the blue, Emma announced that she was going to take her UK Mountain Leader qualification. I must say, I was taken aback. She had shown no real love of mountains or hiking. To be honest, I couldn’t think of anyone less suited to setting out on the long, arduous road to a mountain qualification, especially someone in their 40s.
Roll on another couple of years and guess what? She passed. Fully qualified Mountain Leader. I was so proud. And astonished! She had shown a real affinity for navigation during her courses, apparently compasses make more sense when you’re determined. And, of course, she had to endure many cold, wet days and nights along the journey to her goal. The kind of weather I normally reserve for avoiding plans. She set up a UK guiding business and, as a woman in a male-dominated world, found many doors opening, bringing even more opportunities. She started working with a company taking disadvantaged people into the outdoors.
The Domino Effect
Then the next thing happened: my other daughter, Claire, informed me that she was giving up the dog-sitting and dog-walking business she had been slowly building. Emma had opened a door, and Claire was going to walk through it, joining Emma in taking people into the outdoors too.
The opportunities just kept on coming for them both. They became qualified paddle boarders, kayakers, mountain bike instructors, and God knows what else. Then caving arrived. Now, I could see the benefit in all the aforementioned sports, but caving? Why would anyone want to drop down into a cold, dark, damp, clammy environment? With bats. Definitely bats. Not me, anyway. I’m a bit claustrophobic and have spent much of my outdoor life trying to avoid wet rock. I consider “not getting wet” a personal achievement. But Emma and Claire seemed to love it. Of course they did.
Emmas Cave Qualification
Day
Cave Women
And this love affair with caving progressed. Emma qualified as a Cave and Mine Guide, and then they both set up a business called Cave Women. What a great name for a caving business led by women. They spend a lot of time caving, even on weekends when not working commercially. Apparently, dirt under fingernails and mud in places mud shouldn’t go is now a hobby.
So who would have thought, 20 years on, that this would be where we ended up? My offspring loving the outdoors arguably more than me! You can’t beat a mid-life crisis, can you? I’m so proud of my kids. Even if they are now doing activities I’d need therapy to understand.
Claire venturing where I
wouldn’t